Before we get it into the nitty gritty about how to overcome instant gratification, let’s talk about what it is first. I say, it’s the wanting of something NOW, i.e. you don’t want to wait. But is it really our fault that we want it now...surely there’s nothing wrong with that, right?

Well, as humans, we already have this intrinsic desire to pretty much have things exactly when we want them and not a second or a minute later. A real life example is ordering something on Amazon, and somehow naturally looking to see if the product has the ‘Prime tag’ next to it so that you can quickly receive it on the same day or the next day. In other words, instant gratification is the, “I don’t want to wait 3-5days (standard) to have something delivered even if I don’t need the item until the following month”.

Sound familiar?

I guess that somehow it isn’t really our fault because we have many options and more to this, is the fact that these said options are also available and at our fingertips. That said, we can still take responsibility and find ways to overcome instant gratification, let me show you how:

1. Separate your Wants from your Needs: We want a lot of things but the undeniable truth is, we don’t need most of the things that we want. For instance, you may want a Chanel bag for a special occasion but the separation comes from recognising that, it’s not a necessity (need) because you can still attend the special occasion without the bag. It may complement you nicely on the outside, but deep within you, it doesn’t change who or how you are.

On the other hand, the cost of this bag could possibly cover your groceries for a month or two. Weighing it up, you need the groceries so you can eat and have energy to get about in your day to day. The message here is to weigh up what you really need vs. what you just want and ask yourself if you can do without it and/or if it adds value to you.

Note: this example is in no way telling you not to buy a Chanel bag, I have used it as a means to differentiate between your want and your needs, meaning don’t starve yourself internally (need - food) to look good externally (want - bag).

2. Resist the Urge to Pounce: To be honest I’ve been guilty here too but one of the examples I can use is the annual release of updated products. Say the new “iPhone Pro Max whatever” just got released today and your heart is pounding, you are itching because you want the latest product - basically, you wanted it yesterday! And I know, this feeling arises in almost every person but here’s an activity you can do to resist the urge in this case:

Pause and reflect: Ask yourself these questions... “Is my current phone fully functional; What is the updated version of ‘iPhone Pro Max whatever' going to bring to me; I’m I buying it for the features (i.e. better camera) or is it to follow the trend i.e. having the latest tech?”

Reflecting on your answers to these questions, will give you an idea on whether or not you can delay the process of acquiring this new phone or you can simply do without it. I suppose the plus in delaying this process could be that if for instance, you are on a 24 month phone contract and you wait till the contract fulfills its full term, you save yourself from the additional cost in having to pay an early upgrade fee to cover the remaining months so that you can purchase a new phone.
Should your answers to the above questions still have you wanting the latest phone, you can consider the options of recycling/trade in order to reduce the cost. Though this doesn’t fully overcome instant gratification, it plays a part in cost saving.

You can use these questions with anything in your life and I’m sure that soon enough, they will help you make a conscious decision when it comes to resisting the urge with different scenarios, no matter how small the action is, that you take which leads me to the next point.

3. Make a Conscious Decision to Start Small: You can’t fully overcome every urge that you get nor can you completely ignore it and so the best way to go about this, is to start small. Whilst these steps may not be noticeable in the beginning, soon you will recognise that your thought process including your urge to respond and get it now, will diminish.

It takes one decision to start it all and when you do, apply it mindfully and in moderation so that it is not causing any drastic effect on you.

I’m not proud to say that in the last couple months and especially over lockdown, I, like many others, ended up spending a lot more money than I had originally planned. I’m sure there will be times when you are unable to resist the urge completely or start at all for that matter....and that’s okay! The difference you have to make is to take responsibility and make these changes one step at a time.

As humans, it’s no secret that we give in to urges and these can create certain habits that are sometimes very unhealthy for us from addictions to debt or weight gain/loss. When these activities become habits, it’s hard to snap out of them immediately and so you need to understand that it takes time and in this time, you will learn how to find the balance you need to overcome instant gratification.

When you find a way to overcome and/or balance instant gratification, I wish you nothing but whole-hearted consistency in keeping up with it 🙌🏾

Thank you for reading.

Love & Light,
Amida